Newlywed Holiday Tension


Oh boy, I don't even know if it's appropriate to post this. I am going to any way though because my family doesn't know this blog exists at the moment, it's real, it's the truth, and I am pretty sure I am not the only soul going through this out there.

The holidays are an amazing time of the year! Seriously, who doesn't love the food, family, decor, and pretty much everything? If you do hate it, well I am sorry, and hope that you at least enjoy Halloween. Because...Halloween rules. But there is a huge cloud of gloom that always seems to come around this time. Now lets back track a tad. The previous years there were issues you too, but K (the husband)and I were either dating or engaged so we just sucked it up, kept a smile on, and didn't say anything. But this year it's different to us. We are married as our own little family. Yes it is just K, O (the pup), and I. But it's still a family to us. We want to have our own traditions and enjoy the holidays.

Ok, I feel like I may be losing you guys so I am just going to get on with it. K and I decided this year we didn't want to run around on the holidays to everyone's houses. Simply put we want to enjoy ourselves. Enjoy our family and not find our selves staring at the clock trying to time when to leave to make the next event. Plus, one set of parents will be gone for Christmas and this is our last holiday season at home. So why not spend one entire day at one parents house than the next holiday spend it at the next parents house?
Also, it's not like we never see our parents. We have family dinner every other weekend. For instance this weekend would be dinner at my parents house than the next weekend we would go to dinner at K's parents house.
I don't know, maybe that's just selfish of us. And to some of the family it is extremely selfish of us and pretty much not gonna fly. When I say not gonna fly I mean tears were shed, choice words said, and a relations threatened.
Along with spending time with family on our last holiday season here we want to be our own and be able to start our own traditions. We are adults and I feel we shouldn't have to ask for permission on what we want to do.

So tell me, are we being ridiculous?
How do you do holidays?

Here's a quick list of ways we have somewhat kept the peace.

+ Don't assume family is going to be ok with you not being at an event. It is going to hurt them and they may lash out, but try and see their side as you hope they see your side.

+ Along with that, try and see their side. Understand that each family has always had holidays with you. It's a big change that their child is saying they aren't gonna be there for the first time ever.

+ Don't pin parents against one another. A hug issue our family dynamics has, not sure if others to do, but parents seems to be in competition with each other. Not in a full blown way, but enough to where we notice it. K and I have made a pact to not speak of one families issues with the other family. It just is bad all around.

+ Just sit down and talk face to face. Emailing, texting, phone calls are a no go. Seriously just sit down and talk. It will be more real.

+ My most important set of advice here is not to fight. Not between families, but you and your spouse. Kyle and I have not had a legit fight yet, honestly we haven't. I thought this was gonna be it. But it wasn't. Before Kyle and I even talked about this with anyone other than ourselves we sat down together and promised each other to stick together as a team and not fight with each other.